Maybe There's Hope

At some point last year, when I must have been feeling somewhat OK, I went back to putting stuff on eBay as a way of making some money and giving myself something to do. It must have been  after I'd switched to INTOXALOCK and could drive the car, as the problem with putting things on eBay' is that once they sell they have to be delivered, and with the dreaded Lifesaver in the car I couldn't do that. 

So—I have no idea how I got it but I have (had) a needlework sampler made by one of my great-aunts when she was 11 and attending a school in a working class area of London in about 1890. It's always fascinated me as unlike most Victorian samples it doesn't show hearts and flowers but instead shows various darning and mending skills—buttonholes, several patching methods and some intricate embroidery thrown in for good measure. 

No one else in my family is interested in it and I don't want it going to a thrift store when I'm dead so I put it on eBay for $99, carefully put it somewhere where I'd know where it was and was pleased that it garnered some attention with several watchers. I was optimistic enough that I thought I'd better get it ready to ship for when it sold and then, of course, as has been happening for the past 24 years I've had this house, couldn't find it. I had to take it off eBay.

Fast forward to three days ago. My mission this year is getting my various health "issues" to my primary care doctor, and when I saw the pulmonologist last week and discovered I have nodules on my lung (lungs?) he gave me a hard copy of the hospital report and a note to take to her. Now I needed a big enough envelope, which meant going into the freezing cold inadequately heated addition  that J built on when we bought the house that has all the eBay stuff to sell and all the packing materials. There's a cardboard box with bubble wrap and padded mailers and right there on top of that was a 8 x 10 brown envelope, perfect for the report and doctor notes. 

Imagine my surprise (!) as I picked it up, opened it to put in the report, and lo and behold, there was the lost Victorian sampler, neatly folded and wrapped in tissue paper ready to ship to the lucky person who might have bought it six months ago. 

Lesson—do one little thing instead of watching YouTube left-wing radical lunatics in bed all day and you'll start (if you're lucky) a chain of events that'll MAKE you do something and get you out of this horrible waiting for your new life to start but not doing anything to start it. 

It didn't MAKE me put it on eBay but I must have some tiny spark of life left and I did—put it on eBay for $99 at nine yesterday morning and at 5:43AM THIS morning it sold. Less than 24 hours. 

So now, with Mercury square the Ascendant today, I have to get out of bed, wrap it up, print a label and take it to the Post Office. Movement! Activity! Probably speaking to someone! $84.67! 

Maybe I'll even put something else on eBay. Maybe it IS the beginning of a whole new healing cycle. 

Maybe living here will be OK after all. About time!

Mars Opposed to Pluto...

..and it's 12:30PM and I am still in bed watching 30 Easy Meals '50s Housewives Made Without a Recipe (that have disappeared). There's a link if you want to check it out yourself. 

This is also the day the Saturn opposed to Chiron transit perfects for the third and final time. It began in May of last year, before I had any knee or hip issues, and goes on for a week or so, by which time I doubt either of those issues will have vanished. 

 Astro.com call it a test of ideals, but I have no idea what they might be. Maybe I think the president of this country should be sane. That he isn't is definitely the cause of a lot of inner strife as I stay in bed all day shackled to the laptop, although the staying in bed all day is only (only!) since January 6th of this year. 

I don't know if this wanting nothing other than  to be warm in bed is related to the horror of last year, when all I did was jump through hoop after hoop after hoop, or to the not having heat for a year and a half because of the solar debacle or just because I'm 80 and have absolutely nothing to do except keep the cat and I fed and watered.

Doesn't really matter. And as for Mars opposed to Pluto, I can't see any culmination of successful effort or giving up because the opposition is too strong. Still, it's only 1:06, so anything could happen. 

Oh, Walmart is supposed to deliver my decaf coffee they didn't have when I ordered yesterday, so maybe that's the culmination of successful effort. 

Catch-up Time

 Last post three days ago?

Thursday: Sun trine Uranus and Mars trine Neptune:

Managed to take a bag of trash downtown and then I think Neptune took over and probably retreated to the comfort of the laptop.

Friday, yesterday: Mercury sextile the Sun:

Okay, I think Robert Hand IS right - doing this day by day really is madness. If I had more interest than I do in astrology right now it could make sense, but all I think I'm doing is living out three planets in Aries intercepted in the Twelfth, and none of it is particularly interesting. 

Sun Opposed to Pluto

What better day to go to the pulmonologist and get the results of a CAT scan given two weeks ago?

Six months ago I was told I had an aortic aneurism but it wasn't very big and "we" just had to keep our eyes on it. Yesterday Dr. S told me I had nodules on my lungs and I had to remind him about the aneurism. 

Result: I'm having a PET scan to confirm or rule out cancer because "you don't want to go through all the surgery for knee and hip replacement and then find out you have cancer." Nope, I guess I don't. 

Another result:  my attempt to get all of my "health" providers under one roof can begin as I have hard copies of results of both CAT scans and a note from Dr. S to my primary care doctor Dr. R. I do have to get them over to her though and with Mars trine Neptune it's not happening today. 

Mercury Trine Uranus

A friend texted me this morning asking how I was doing.

It took seven hours for me to come up with the answer - heartsick - but when I finally answered I didn't say that. I said something like "All hunkered  down waiting for I don't know what", which is actually true, but a more truthful answer would have been "Severely depressed and heartsick about the state of this country".

The M trine U bit was thinking of a birthday present for the mother of a friend who's (the mother) going to be 100 on the 29th - the front page of a newspaper printed on the day she was born. Brilliant! 

Bugger. I wrote more but it's on the iMac and this is the laptop and they're not synched. 

Venus Trine Uranus and Mercury Opposed to Pluto

Well maybe it was the Sun trining Neptune that got me to take a shower yesterday haha, but more likely it was what got me to take one of the Larazapams at midnight last night when I couldn't sleep (I rarely can as I never do anything during the day to make me tired), logged on to the New YorkTimes and saw the second innocent person killed by "Homeland Security" this month was carrying a phone and not a gun when he was shoved to the ground and shot dead by an "agent". 

But that was yesterday. Today I slept until eight and didn't really come to until noon, but I've made another stab at the exercises I'm trying to make myself do and done a load of laundry, and if I can keep this amazing burst of energy going I'm going to take the used-up cylinder out of the Terra, replace it with a new one and put the used one in the box with the other used one and take it to the Post Office tomorrow so I can get back the $30 SodaStream has charged me for not returning them sooner. 

That of course is doubtful as it's the only thing I need do tomorrow, whereas on Tuesday I have to go to a doctor's appointment so could go to the P.O. then and not waste gas by driving eight miles into town and back tomorrow. Maybe Mercury opposed to Pluto will help me get to the bottom of that vexing question. 

I did keep the amazing burst of energy up and changed the cylinder in the Terra, but now I'm back in bed (it's 6:35) and I haven't put the sheets back on the bed so I'm lying on the mattress pad and probably will be when I wake up. Hey, it's all baby steps. 

Sun Trine Neptune

So that little bunch of planets that just left Capricorn and entered Aquarius is now taking turns at trining Neptune for me.

Yesterday was Mercury's turn, and now some of them are opposing Pluto as Venus did yesterday, and the sum total of it all seems to be I get lazier and lazier (or more and more slothful, take your pick, and add in more and more depressed if you want another choice) and just stay in bed.

So - so far - this is the person I spent so much time being concerned about as 2025 came to a close and I wondered who I was going to be and what I was going to do when that horrible year had ended: I stay in bed all day, have no interest in doing anything that involves effort and live on the laptop watching radical left-wing lunatics voice their opinions about Trump on YouTube. 

And I don't care.