Mars Square Jupiter

 Almost one o'clock on a Sunday and I'm still in bed poking away at the MacBook Air. 

I did get up earlier and go outside to water. The end of November and it's 65 degrees with a new wildflower blooming every day and at least I can be roused enough by that to want to keep that happening.

I seem to be doing very well at not over-extending myself with all the exuberant energy I'm supposed to have. Sun trine Pluto yesterday and again I managed to do nothing of consequence. I suppose it's all the Saturn showing up right now. ML always said The Slowest Moving Planet Wins. 

Dream

Clothes again.

I'm working somewhere where there's a Big Day the next day and I need to find something to wear.

I'm in Bloomingdale's making my way up to the fourth floor. 

Who am I going to be? 

This was days ago and I ought to have changed the date to when I had the dream. 

Jupiter Opposed to the Midheaven

 Moving in and throwing out continues, and unfortunately so does eating. 

All I want to do is be home and warm. 

Sun Sextile Chiron

Well this was an absolutely horrible day. 

Couldn't wake up, knew I had to get blood drawn for a Monday morning doctor's visit, rainy and windy and didn't want to leave the house (as though I ever do) but made it down to HMS, no one there, in and out in ten minutes, home and went back to bed and slept till six and finally felt OK so got up for an hour and was back in bed by seven. 

Mars Square Mars

 Another totally unexpected manifestation: 

No arguments, uproars, conflicts, upsets of any kind. Had decided to go to Humane Society to wash dog bowls as community service has to be done soon, and even though the weather forecast was rain and blustery wind and horribleness in general I went and got in two and three-quarters hours, with people (well, one) beginning to recognize me and talk to me and tell me I have a good attitude, which I have to admit I do as washing dog bowls is probably the shittiest (literally) job I could have chosen to do as far as community service goes. 

It's a reminder of working at Jaffe and going in as night manager and finding all the bad sound, foreign language tapes ignored by the day shift waiting for me and transcribing them myself rather than handing them off to the rest of the social misfits staggering in to staff the night shift, except this time I've chosen the job myself rather than being at the mercy of the dreaded day manager.

"Are you sure you want to be here instead of at the thrift shop?" I was asked the first time I turned up, which let me know I wasn't the usual kind of person to show up, although what that might be I have no idea except it's probably not an 80-year old pleasant (?) looking white woman.  

By now (third visit?) I almost know how to work the industrial washing machines and dryers and can rotate back and forth between the laundry room and the sink, sweeping the floors in-between and in general perfectly happy to be warm and left to myself. A twelfth house sun? Who knows? 

And then I managed to get myself to the P.O. to mail a birthday present in time for it to arrive before the birthday, go to Food Basket, drop off the trash and even stop at the mailbox on the way home - more things accomplished in one day than I've managed in more than a year. 

Mars Square Uranus

 Recognize that this is a crucial turning point in learning to be your authentic self in relation to others.

Now you can begin making changes in your life and relationships that reflect the growth you have undergone.

This evolution should not destroy your relationships. The authentic ones will survive the crisis and become the foundation for future growth.

Astrology is so silly. 

Venus Square Venus ......

 ....and I didn't overeat.

Jessie came over.

Jupiter in the Fourth

Jupiter Opposed to the Midheaven

He's been down there for ages but as the angle began to perfect he almost outdid himself for four or five days.  

The man parking his rig in the driveway in exchange for yard work left because it's too noisy, but he'd done all the stuff I didn't want to do and I promptly managed to find an amazing can-do-anything woman who'll do the rest and also a bunch of other stuff. 

There's loads more but I just got back from washing dog bowls at High Desert as another two and a half hours of community service and I'm starving. 

Mercury sextile Neptune

Dreaminess, they call this, so that might be why my therapy appointment got a bit animated, while I tried to explain to Dr. P exactly what the last three years have been like. 

Tension, there's tension she hadn't seen before, she said, and of course there's tension, I said, waving around the two pieces of paper filled with misery. 

And the first day of dark at five o'clock and it's almost nine and I'm still up writing this. Loads of backtracking to do. 

Sun Trine Saturn

This got off to an unexpected start with a neighbor taking me and an old falling-apart wicker chair to the dump and then a trip to Walmart where I got big paper bowls (no water) and an external hard drive I've needed for months as the old one died. 

Wrote that on 10/28 and that's as far as it got. Not a clue what happened the rest of the day.   My old attachment to astrology, started in 1996 with Michael Lutin's workshop on the Nodes, has gone, to put it mildly, and I wonder if I'll ever get it back.

I wonder sometimes if I'll ever get anything back (what did I have?) after my almost year of having a device in my car which for nine months made it impossible for me to drive as I couldn't get the car started, and now even trying to describe what that year has been like is impossible, or rather it's so difficult I can't even be bothered to make the attempt.  Depressed, anyone?